Both my wife and my daughter are ill.
If you wish to experience the joy that is a sick infant, you can follow my guide below.
Step 1. Find an excited puppy.
Step 2. Take that puppy into your bathroom and stare into the mirror.
Step 3. Hold that puppy as still as you possibly can while screaming into your own face.
Step 4. Do this until the puppy falls asleep.
If your first thought is "the puppy won't fall asleep because I am screaming at my own face", then you are still too sane to have children, congratulations!
Because of this, I'm sure you can understand, I have a monstrous headache that will not leave me be, and this is all you get for an update today.
Happy Holidays.
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